When I was five I fell off my bike and broke my arm in three places, when my mom saw me holding my arm, she kneeled down eye to eye with me a very important question before we made the trip to emergency room.
“Do you have fresh panties on?” Luckily I did, so off to the emergency room…I don’t know if that would have been the case if I didn’t.
When I was 12, my brother came home on leave from the service. After the 5th day my mother noticed that he hadn’t put any underwear in the laundry. She went through his bedroom, then his suitcase and was very puzzled to find no underwear. When she asked him about it and he told her that he “goes Commando most of the time.” At that time he was 20 and been in the service for two years, but she still cried.
When my son (G) was 5, he saw a pair of SpongeBob Square pants Boxers and wanted them, so I bought him 5 pairs of Boxers. Three days later I received a call from G’s step mother, accusing me of perversion and having no morals. My crime was buying a 5 year boxers. She was dealing with G’s half-brother wanting to wear boxers, and that wasn’t happening at their home. I remember telling her to have a great day and hanging up on her.
This past Tuesday evening the program for IAAP was on Personal Branding (Resume/Twitter/Linkin/
Interviewing). G’s English class is in the process of covering this information, so of course I made him attend. The speaker, C.B., is excellent. She knows her stuff and had lots of documentation. I even notice that G was taking notes. At the end of her talk, she covered interviews and what to wear.
During one point she said “Excuse me gentlemen for the next part”. She then precede talk about the importance of having properly fitted undergarments which give off a much confident impression to the interviewer. Then she gave suggestions how to get fitted. She advised going to go to a department store and find the oldest clerk available, in order to be properly fitted for undergarments. I mistakenly thought when she said “Excuse me Gentlemen” she meant for the following comments to directed to the guys and she was apologizing for touching on a personal topic. so I thought she was telling the guys to go get fitted for underwear. I was beyond puzzled. I didn’t want my son or any guy I knew wearing pants tight enough that their skivvies need to be fitted to them in order to look nice anywhere in public, let alone to a job interview. But since I had the value of underwear drilled into me in my childhood, I didn’t want to miss something that could be extremely important in my son’s life. And I knew at 14 he would be too embarrassed to ask, so I piped up and asked her
“Why do guys need to be fitted? G just wears boxers.” After I said that, a major epiphany occurred, I realized she had been talking to the ladies in the group.
From the look G gave me I realized my final years would be at the most Sadistic Senior Citizens Home he could find and he probably would start looking the next day.
Although he hasn’t found any humor in it yet, I am happy to report that by Wednesday afternoon, he has started speaking to me.